


Alex Rider's Fairy Tales

by himitsutsubasa



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Crack, Dragons, Humor, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Princesses, Quests, Rules of Magic, Sass, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himitsutsubasa/pseuds/himitsutsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is a knight. He is supposed to slay the great dragon and have Princess Sabina as a bride. Except, he doesn't want to kill a dragon and has no interest in getting married. What he wants is a normal life. Right? </p><p>MedievalMagic!AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alex Rider's Fairy Tales

**Author's Note:**

> I just had no idea why. This is meant to be light and airy. I hope to rewrite parts with a darker turn. I know that a lot of this is incorrect (hello? history buff here), but I’m making this a playful nonsensical version.

You are to train as hard as you can.

You are to fight every enemy you face.

You are to treat every lady kindly.

You are to guide those who have lost their way.

You are to stand your ground whenever things go wrong.

You are to be a knight and the greatest there is or was.

That was not how it worked for Alex Rider.

Alex started saddling his horse on morning. At sixteen, he had just gotten knighted and was now to be summoned by the king. Things could not go better.

Alex rode along on his mount and headed toward the citadel. The kingdom of Plesher was to the west farther than they would expect. About a half hour later, he spoke.

“Tom, why are we going east?”

Tom, his brother, clapped him on the back. “This is west.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“See that?” He pointed. “That is the sun.” His finger moved to the horizon. “The sun rises in the east.” He pointed to the horse. “We are riding toward the sun.” He smacked Tom’s shoulder. “By the transitive property of you are an idiot, we are riding toward the east.” Alex turned his horse around.

Tom rubbed his shoulder. “Oyo, that wasn’t nice.”

Alex sighed. “I jest.”

“Well, your face sure is.” Alex swing again and this time Tom swung back.

“The king summoned us so we need to get there,” Alex muttered.

“He never said soon.” Tom bit into an apple.

“He said by nightfall.” Alex scoffed. That part had been written in three colors and bolded.

“Wow, it must be important.” Tom fed the rest of the apple to the horse. “We should go faster.”

“Let’s go!” Alex spurred his horse into a gallop.

“Wait for me!”

=

The city was a great beauty to behold. Towers rose over the battlements, more decorative than practical. In the city, one could see the stained glass window of the King’s court reflected lights ever the town below. Colorful flags waved in the wind and flower garlands adorned the streets. Their soft scent tickled the nose. It blended with the aromas of sweet meats and savory pies. Children ran by, their voices musical streams of laughter.

“Great if you don’t have flower allergies.” Tom rubbed his already red nose. He blew into a handkerchief. Alex was glad to have brought a dozen.

They made their way past the homes and markets. Tom was alternately drooling and sneezing all the while. Finally, they reached the stone walled castle.

Tom hopped off his horse and hollered, “I’ll find a stable hand.” Before running off.

Alex tried not to look too bemused. Tom never did anything unless… He saw the milk maid and thought, cheeky twat.

“Alexander?” Alex looked about until he saw a woman making her way toward him.

He left his horse to a boy, giving him a copper. “Yes, how may I be of service?”

She pursed her lips. Belatedly, he realized she was sucking on a candy. “The king wants to see you.” Alex nodded and followed her lead.

=

“I am Crawley, head of the king’s secret army.” The man before him stood in rather ugly robes.

First off, they were blue. Not a pleasant blue or the cheap blue of the curtains but the horrific kind of blue one threw up after eating too many berries. Secondly, pasted in a haphazard manner were the planets. Not stars and constellations but the solar system in great detail. Alex could make out Pluto and Mercury from when he walked into the room. He could count all the rings of Saturn. Thirdly, there was a mustard stain which could be interpreted as a galaxy if one squinted really hard and was clinically blind in one eye.

Alex knew the look was Merlin inspired, but the last time he’d seen the wizard, the man had been decked out in Camelot’s traditional carb (oh, the ostrich hat). And he had an appalling taste in neckerchiefs.

That was when Prince Arthur had lost his memory and Merlin had to go off on a harebrained quest to find him.

The moral of the story was: do not annoy a leprechaun.

Arthur learned that the hard way.

“Why am I here?” The woman raised an eyebrow. She had been introduced as Tulip.

The man circled him. Alex shied away. “Were you a vulture in a past life?”

“I have a proposition for you.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“I’m not marrying your daughter.”

Crawley looked surprised for a moment. “No, I mean that tonight the king will propose a challenge. He who slays the dragon will have...”

Alex cut in. “Look, I’m not the marrying type. So if this has anything about having the princess as a bride. I will have nothing of it.” Crawley looked even more surprised.

“Half the kingdom?”

Alex visibly rolled his eyes. “No dragon has caused that much damage. How would I manage that anyway?” There was only one dragon and it was just napping in a cave up north somewhere.

Crawley thought for a moment. “And if I take way your fief?”

Alex shrugged. “It’s small and there is little value. My fief in the land of the Francs is worth more.”

Crawley tried again. “Your nursemaid shall be sent away.”

“She married a legal citizen. She has as much of a right to be here as Tulip.” He gestured to the woman, who beamed proudly at him.

Crawley thought a moment longer. “And what of your adopted brother, Thomas?”

“Tom, can handle himself. He always liked playing Dungeons and Dragons.”

The man acted as if he was giving away a national secret. “This is the dragon that killed your uncle.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“You think I didn’t know that? My uncle dies just around the time there was a dragon raid… Hmm… no. He totally didn’t die, because he and a few other knights decided to attack an angry dragon.” Alex let that sink in. “I’m not an idiot. Besides, I can’t help but feel it’s justified. If some metal headed knight came and started swinging a sword at me, I would torch him too.”

Alex shrugged away all his worries. To think five years ago, he would have been under their thumb. Crawley looked exasperated to Alex’s trained eye.

“Do you have no national pride?” the hideously robed man asked.

Alex grabbed a pear from the tray and started cutting it with a small dagger. “As much as any normal knight.” Which, in such times of peace, was not much.

He offered Tulip part of the pear and she accepted with a smile.

Crawley motioned to the door. “Just take him up on it, if you like. If you are the best Plesher has to offer we are in a sore spot indeed.”

“Don’t you forget it,” he replied.

Alex left with Tulip as his guide through the labyrinthine halls. Outside the door to his room, she slipped a candy into his hand.

“Good work.” She winked.

=

“So they want you to fight the dragon?” Alex nodded. The girl, Sabina, was sitting on his bed. Tom, sitting on the edge of the table, had enticed her to converse with them, or just him since Alex had walked in and managed to steal the show by existing. He already knew her true identity. It was seriously too easy.

Sabina was oblivious as she asked, “What? You’ll get a princess out of it?”

“Sounds like it.” Tom was giving him a silent thumbs-up. “I won’t take it though.” Both gaped at him.

“Well, why not?” Sabina huffed. “She’s very pretty you know.”

Alex shot her a quick glance. “I don’t need a princess.”

“And this ain’t a fairy tale. She’s not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, or lead her up a stair well. This ain’t Hollywood. This is a small town…” Alex rolled his eyes.

“Stop singing already. You know that song gets on my nerves.” Tom starting singing in a higher falsetto and Sabina, clearly the woman had no sense of mercy, starting singing along too.

=

“All hail the king.”

“All hail the king,” Alex repeated. The hall was filled with knights. Some had chosen to wear chain mail. Others opted for soft linens and cottons. Alex was deck out but took the third option. He wore his one armed armor piece over his normal clothes.

King Edward and Queen Elizabeth sat in their thrones at the head of the table. To their right was the princess. Tom’s jaw dropped.

“Princess Sabina?” Hid head snapped to Alex with an audible crack. “Did you know about this?”

Alex rolled his eyes. Seriously, just by seeing her hands, he could tell she never worked a day in her life.

That and the simpering. Really, simpering happened with the maids too but princesses had a specific brand of simpering. Sabina was marketing that brand with gusto. Crawley was in the back ground looking like someone had dumped a bucket of slop on him. Tulip stood not far off. When she saw Alex, she gave him a knowing smile.

This is going to be an interesting dinner.

With those thoughts, he started tearing apart a quail.

=

King Edward stood proudly over the crowd of knights and called for silence.

“I have gathered you all here from the corners of my kingdom to propose a challenge. As you all know I have a daughter. One many would call lovely. She has grace and beauty and is a great comfort to me. However, I am in need of an heir. So I offer her hand to you, dear knights.” There was a rousing cheer.

Alex rolled his eyes and waited for the blip.

“But, as we all know nothing is free, and only the worthy may be crowned a prince. So the battle for my daughter’s hand shall be fought against….” There was a drumroll.

“…the dragon.” Alex thought.

“The dragon,” the king said. “Who would like to try?”

There was a flood of hands going up. The king wasn’t very surprised. The queen seemed to be asleep. Sabina looked a bit disgusted at being considered a trophy. Tom just sized up the knights and wondered who would die first. Tulip was doing the same.

Alex deliberately kept his hand down and watched in amusement as Crawley tried to smash his head into a wall.

=

A week and around fifty knights later, Alex watched the last volunteer trip off home. He had gone back to his little fief and gotten to work. Life faced a few changes.

Jack and her husband had moved in with them at the manor, which made for a few awkward dinners. Tom was always staring out the window longingly, which made him totally useless at house work. Alex dealt with more complaints of charred crops and roasted sheep, which he didn’t understand why people complained about because it had a better wood smoke than anything they made. Sabina visited and often stayed the night, saying she loved the country side all the while. More like she liked Alex.

“Hello, knight, may I help you?” Alex got into the habit of speaking to every knight passing his way. And there were a few things to learn about passing Alex’s way. He was a good soul, a bit sassy and not as bright as many would hope but a good soul none the less. Things went three ways with him.

One would be that you took his advice and turned around. Alex would grin and you would feel deliriously happy. By the time you got home, a basket of from a group called MI6 arrive on your dinner table.

If you heeded his advice, but chose to go on anyway, he would shake his head and offer you bandages made by Jack in addition to aloe from Tom’s plant. You would keep going and make use of them. On your way back, he would invite you in for a consolation dinner.

And lastly, if you scorned him, he would point out the quickest, most efficient route to the cave and wave you off with a smile. He wasn’t sadistic. Okay, he was a little sadistic. Okay, a lot sadistic. Can we stop going over how sadistic this kid is?

And one morning, Alex decided to take the day off and force Tom to do the chores. He went off to not judge people’s taste in roasted lamb.

It was quite good by the way.

=

Alex wandered through the forest that made up the end of his fief. It was all deciduous and very colorful in fall and spring. Now he walked carefully, trying to avoid the summer flowers that sprouted everywhere.

“Good evening, Alex.”

Alex turned to see the ugly-robed man standing in a patch of daisies. This time it was an ugly orange color. No one could pull it off. No one.

Not even Morgana.

“Crawley, what do you want?”

The man pursed his lips and spoke. “Take up the challenge.” No so much as a request but as an order.

“Why? I get nothing out of it.” Alex was enjoying this. The man who sent his uncle off to die looked like he was about to die of frustration. Being impracticable was too much fun. He would be vexing until he tired of it.

Simply stated, he had learned one thing from his substitute tutor, Ash (not his back stabbing godfather, but the funny old tutor): mess with people. It helped you live longer. Oddly enough, that was the only tutor who ever stuck around longer than a week (three months; until he decided to go on a pilgrimage to Gaul for the heck of it).

“I’ll offer you more land.” Alex rolled his eyes and started walking.

“I have a hard time dealing with the one I have now.”

Crawley kept pace, following him. “Money.”

“Work keeps the mind nimble.”

“Luxury.” The man pressed.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I have a bath every day.”

“I’ll murder everyone you love.”

Alex gave him a dark look.

“You can try.” Crawley wisely omitted that from his list of threats.

“What do you want?” Alex paused. There was something he wanted.

“Nothing you can give.” Crawley looked a little amused.

He conjured a staff. “Who says?”

“The laws of nature.” Alex took one glance and snorted.

“Level five mage.”

=

 

Alex did think about the offer because he hated the idea of it.

Today the returning guests were the K-unit. Alex had gotten along with the knights, sparring and horseplay came naturally to them. Wolf seemed to hate Alex with a bloodlust comparable to Dracula. Eagle seemed to be smoking something. Fox was the only sane one that liked him. Snake was just confused.

Therefore, he spent most of his time with Snake and Fox. They were mending quickly thanks to Jack’s almost magical healing abilities. Burns faded, leaving no scars and cuts stitched back together at the speed of light.

Alex asked on day while they sparred. “So what was it like?”

“It was like sitting next to a hot furnace, except you lost your eyebrows.” Fox replied, parrying.

Alex attacked again, aiming for the head instead of the heart. Fox caught the dulled blade between two hands.

“Well, played, Cub, well played.” They had nicknamed him Cub because of his constant presence amongst them. “Let’s take a break.”

Snake offered them drinks of water, barely looking up from his book. Alex asked, “Was it an adventure?”

“Of the most dangerous kind, kiddo, that dragon was pissed.” Fox clamped a hand over his mouth. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.” Yes, he wasn’t. Stick to the script Daniels! (Sigh. Talent, can’t live with them can’t live without them.)

“Who cares? It’s not like anyone is listening. Snake’s not even listening.” He pointed to the man, who seemed totally engrossed in The Art of War (not the book by the Chinese bloke but a collection of art pieces that emphasized war scenes).

True, I think the readers are falling asleep, Alex.

Alex?

That’s right he can’t hear the huge overloud voice. Huh. Forgot about that.

Alex thought for a moment. “Why didn’t it kill you?” Fox shrugged.

“It didn’t like roast human? I mean, when was the last time we saw it eat a human?” That was a never. It didn’t eat humans.

Alex thought on it longer.

“Should I try?”

Fox’s look was like that of a proud father. “You make your own decisions, Cub. Let’s get back to sparring.”

Alex thought about it through the evening. He was the exception to everyone’s rules, they said. He might have just broken one of his own.

=

Bring:

A few apples.

A loaf of bread.

A small wheel of cheese.

A water skin. 

A pocket dagger. 

A map.

Bandages and a med kit.

Extra socks.

Money.

Compass.

Alex looked over his list and added an extra note: handkerchiefs.

=

Alex headed out the next morning waving everyone goodbye. He’d had an interesting going-away party.

It involved Jack outing her magical powers, and the fact her birth name was Freya. Tom admitted he was in love with Sabina, who was absent due to court matters. The K-unit gave their blessings, except for Wolf, who growled like someone had stepped on his tail. And then he got a magic letter that yelled at him to take the Storm Breaker trail to the cave. 

Waving, Alex said good bye.

How did that boy survive that kind of insanity?

=

Alex followed the beaten trail. At noon, he stopped to have a meal of cheese and bread. Around mid-afternoon, he noted the ramshackle shack on the map was just around the bend. Alex avoided the landmines he knew were there and entered the hut.

There he saw a pudgy man who seemed to delight in making strange things.

“Oh, look at this!” the man help up a fan, “It looks like a lady’s fan, but…” He slammed it against a chunk of wood, cracking it. “It is really made in part with reinforced steel. I call it a fan club.”

Alex applauded politely before asking, “What is your name good sir?” the man looked at Alex for a moment before registering a stranger in his hut.

“Oh, I am Smithers, my boy.” He took Alex’s hand in a firm grip. His hands were startlingly thin.

“Alex.” The man smiled.

“Well, Alexander, why are you out here and what can I do for you?”

Alex had belated remembered he had not brought a flint. Since he was on an adventure, he wasn’t really in the mind to travel quickly. “It’s just Alex. I’m going on an adventure to see the dragon. Could I stay the night?”

“Of course, Alex!” Smither’s started cleaning the space. “An adventurer? How very nice!” He was tossing items this way and that.

Seeing the runes and magic instruments, Alex asked, “Good sir, are you a wizard?” Smithers turned on him.

“Never! Not one of those leeches. They steal my ideas.” Alex regretted asking. “Have you seen one? Is there one around here?”

Alex decided not to mention he was sent along this way by one. “No. I haven’t seen one around here.”

Smithers calmed down and gestured to the cleared space. “You can set your things there.” Then he waddled over to the little couldron.

“I hope you like haggis.” Alex gulped and hoped he did to.

=

Evening arrived and Alex discovered he did like haggis. It tasted strange but had a very interesting texture.

Smithers started smoking a pipe, blowing rings in some pattern. “How’s a riddle, Alex?”

The knight rolled his eyes. “Sounds like fun.” Alex was quite bored.

“While on my way to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven sons. Each son had seven sacks. Each sack had seven cats. Each cat had seven kits. How many were going to St. Ives?”

Alex recalled his childhood when his uncle had asked the same. The little Alex had pondered the puzzled until one day, when he was staring into the ice box, a case of fridge logic overcame him. That day at supper, he told his uncle the answer and how he came by it. Ian had laughed and laughed, saying he hadn’t known the answer until then.

Alex asked with great severity while rolling his eyes, “One.”

Smithers chuckled. “Very good, boy! Here’s another: Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?”

Alex stopped to think. The idea with riddles was not to overthink everything. Alex glanced around the room taking his mind off the problem so the answer would come to him. His eyes alighted on the table.

“A match, you’re a match.” Smithers nodded; he was pleased to have a guest so clever.

He asked the last with great sigh, “The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false?” Poor child would have no idea, he thought.

“Paradox.” Alex dead panned. He rolled his eyes, trying to minimize the movement.

Smithers gave a hollering laugh. “You’re a smart kid! I’ll have something for you tomorrow. A reward.” Alex really hoped it wasn’t haggis.

There was no way to carry that.

=

The next morning Alex woke to have a sword in his face. “Up and at ‘em, boyo.”

Alex wiped the sleep out of his eyes and settled on looking grumpy. “Here’s you reward boy, an enchanted sword.” Alex stared at the blade as it landed on his lap with a soft thump.

“Clarent?”

The inventor nodded. “The mythical Clarent.”

“Thank you.”

Smithers grinned. “You’re welcome, I hope you like biscuits. They’re plain, but that’s all I have.”

“Love them,” Alex replied strapping the sheath to his belt.

=

Alex left the inventor’s hut and traveled along the rest of Storm Breaker trail. He stopped to refill his water skin and have a lunch of biscuits and water. He had left three apples with the inventor, thanks for the sword and two matches. Around evening, Alex had not come across any suitable place to sleep (besides a house was filled with dwarves crosser than Wolf in the morning) and resigned himself to spend the night out in the open. An hour before nightfall, he came across a glen.

To one side there was a glass case. In it was a girl with black hair and red lips. On the other side of the glen was a fabulously dressed prince. Both were asleep.

Or dead. Probably dead.

And pacing across the center of the clearing was a woman in red robes. She growled in frustration. Her loose hair trailed behind her. When she saw Alex, she all but jumped for joy.

“A knight! A knight!” She grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a cursory look. Alex tried not to fidget as she grabbed his face and twisted his head this way and that. “Can you help us?”

“Maybe, miss…?” Alex started edging away. There was still light and he had matches.

“Witch Rothman,” she replied. Definitely time to edge away. “All you have to do is break the curse.”

“Okay…” He was almost out of the clearing when she latched on nails digging into his arms.

“Please. I’ve been here for three years.” Rothman was on the brink of tears. “Please.”

Alex cursed his vow to help all who needed it. He did need a place to sleep though. This glen was perfect. “What can I do?”

Rothman sat on a stump. “They are not dead. ‘Two to love two to kill, kiss and one shall wake to bliss, let lie and the two shall die. But know this: you can give only one kiss. On your oath, save them both’,” she recited.

“Why didn’t you do anything?”

She sighed, “I cannot touch them nor say the answer.” She walked back and forth pacing again.

Alex thought for a second stripping it of the strange wording. “So I have one kiss and two people who need it?” She nodded.

“Remove the case,” he ordered. She grabbed a stick and started lifting the heavy glass.

Alex started by stripping off his armor and getting some heavy lifting done.

“I got it!” The witch had uncovered the girl. Alex had dragged the knight’s body to the stand. He lifted the visor. Glad the man wasn’t actually rotting, Alex planted the bloke’s face over the princess’s.

They waited a second making the sure the two pairs of lips met.

“Smart move, boy.” The witch grinned. “You made them kiss each other.”

There was the sound of rustling as the princess and prince came to.

“How are you guys?” The princess sat up cradling her head. The prince seemed a little better off, not nursing a head ache but looking around for water.

Alex dug out the water skin and gave her a mint scented handkerchief. The two accepted and Alex waited until they were relaxed to ask the question again.

“How are you guys?”

The princess replied, “Good.” She gave the prince a shy smile.

“Very good,” the prince replied.

Alex gave them the love birds a long look. “Okay, then everything is good. So I can sleep here tonight?”

The princess looked at him strangely. “Why would you spend the night here, good knight? The dwarves live only a short walk away.” The prince chuckled and Alex rolled his eyes. Dwarves? The house was so small that three was a crowd. No thanks.

“I think I’ll stay here.” He gave them the remaining three apples, on each. Then, he started unrolling his bed roll.

In a matter of moments, he was asleep.

=

The next morning he woke bright and early. Alex back tracked to the dwarves’ house to see if the three were alright. They were “very alright” and he ended up staying for breakfast.

The princess and prince had decided to get married and were sickening about it. Alex remembered why he wouldn’t marry. Witch Rotheman turned out to be named Julia. The two years trapped in her own spell had converted her to goodness. She was witty when she wasn’t desperate. They had a good time bantering. Alex told her about Crawley and how she, being a level eighty mage, should give him a good scare. She readily agreed.

The dwarves gave him three red gems as thanks. Alex took them and placed them in his bag. They also gave him enough provisions for a small army.

Alex continued walking the rest of the morning. At noon he stopped to lunch and kept moving. By late afternoon, Alex realized that he was at the dragon’s cave. Huh. The week long journey took only three days by the enchanted forest, as the crow files, if you didn’t get attacked or eaten by anything. He had cleared the road blocks so that path would be easily accessible soon.

He started scaling the mountain.

=

Alex arrived at the cave mouth before night fall. He got out his sleeping roll and started to unwrap it when he heard a rustling sound.

“Who goes there?”

Alex glanced about. Then he realized it was the dragon. Duh.

He re-wrapped it and searched for the cave. There were a good dozen but he eventually found it. And he found the dragon.

“Hello, little one.” Alex looked up at the great beast. It was pure white, alabaster in perfection with startling blue eyes. They were like the summer sky. Softer grey scales made the slate that was the dragon’s stomach. Alex could imagine the strong sinuous muscle underneath the scales. On its neck was a long scar. It looked like it had been drawn with a ruler.

“Hello, dragon.” The mouth of the dragon wasn’t moving, Alex observed. It was all telepathic, like Star Trek (was that right?).

The big, blue eyes fixed on him. “Ah… you speak unlike the others. What is your name, little one?”

“Rider, Alex Rider.” The dragon seemed to make a crooning sound. It was odd but vaguely comforting.

“Son of John Rider?” the dragon inquired. Alex rolled his eyes. There were so very few “Riders” out there.

“Yes.”

“Hm. Dragon rider, my little Alex. How very interesting. You are naught but a boy, yet you take your father’s name.” Alex remembered what little was known about dragon names. Their last names were passed from mother to daughter and father to son.

Alex rolled his eyes. “My father is dead.” The dragon sighed.

“I guessed as much, little one.” A claw extended as the dragon backed deeper into the cave. “Come here.”

Alex realized the dragon was living in a hollow mountain. He could see other openings where fading light lit the darkness. It made the soft crystals, embedded in the walls, radiate light. For a moment, he stood in awe. The light reflected off the scales giving the dragon a glow. An ethereal myth stood before him, offering a claw.

Alex took a step forward. A shot of bravery, or stupidity, forced him to ask, “What is your name?” The dragon’s head tilted to one side. The horns, spirals swirled with blues, gave off a pearlescent sheen.

He, Alex recognized the voice to be male, closed his eyes. “I have not said it in a long time, human child.” The dragon thought for a moment. “Yassen.” It sounded like a faint memory.

“Yassen,” Alex repeated. That was a male name. Definitely a male dragon, unless he got their traditions wrong.

“Yassen Gregorovich, little Rider.” The dragon settled down, lying on its stomach. Alex ventured just out of flame’s way.

“Yassen, did you kill my uncle?” The dragon thought for a moment.

“I have killed many, little one. I know not all their names.” He sounded somber. “Tell me about yourself.”

Alex took a deep breath and started. The dragon listened to him talk about the fields of his fief and the forest; the villagers, who didn’t know a good roast when they tasted it; the princess, who didn’t like her high heeled shoes; the K-unit, who acted as a small family unit too; and about his only remaining family, Jack and Tom. The dragon looked on with half lidded eyes. His face was a mask, but something moved in his eyes. His eyes never left Alex’s face.

“Are you happy, little one?” Alex didn’t think.

“Yes.” The dragon’s eyebrows, if they could be called that, drew together.

“Then, why did you leave?”

Alex shrugged and rolled his eyes. “I’d tell you if I knew.” The dragon seemed to be lost in thought.

“Stay the night.” That was an order.

Alex obeyed.

=

“Yassen?” Alex saw the dragon munching on a tree trunk. Yassen turned and acknowledged the boy.

“Yes?”

“Are you eating a tree?”

“Yes.” He caught Alex’s curious expression. “Did you think dragon’s at meat? How would we breathe fire then?” He paused. “Actually we could, but that is much messier than a little ash.”

“Oh.” Alex started getting out his breakfast.

Yassen raised a claw, eyeing the cold bread. “I have a kitchen.”

Alex ended up repeating, “You have a what?”

=

Alex now understood why dragons kidnapped girls. They were set to do house work. Yassen’s cave had an extension that served as a cooking quarters. There was a plethora of pans and other utensils. Alex was surprised he recognized a crepe pan in the mix. It was a little like a house. However, there was no bed. Torched, he noticed.

Yassen made a small flame for the stove and Alex made some grilled cheese sandwiches.

=

His schedule ran something like this: 

At dawn Yassen's wings would wake the young knight. 

Then, when the dragon returned, Alex would have his breakfast and listen to stories about kings who drowned their daughters in barrels filled with nails and wizards who were much more powerful than Crawley. He rolled his eyes at the long descriptions of court intrigue that Yassen seemed to know all about. 

Alex was a regular at the local market buying things, rolling his eyes, and never telling where he lived, only that it was "just shy of the biggest cave". 

Then there would be lunch and training and dinner and another tale before Alex went to bed and rolled his eyes at how dragons did whatever dragon did at night. Alex was particularly enchanted by Yassen's tales about working with witches and wizards. He always found them a bit odd, more like a human than a dragon. But, he just rolled his eyes at the idea because that could be attributed to how witches and wizards seemed to care little of what species the other party belonged to than the contents of their wallets. Once, Alex had mentioned Witch Julia Rothman, with an eye roll to how a few years of being trapped in a lovely grove filled with nice fruit and plenty of game was enough to drive her to the good side. 

Yassen had done his dragon eyebrow raise.

"Julia? I haven't seen her in a very long time." His claws clattered on the cold floor. "It must be seventeen years now."

"Seventeen?" Alex asked. He knew the importance of that date.

"Yes," Yassen whispered. Clearly, he recalled the memory. "I knew your father then." His typically sapphire eyes took on the adularescence of moonstone.

"He died sixteen years ago," Alex muttered.

Yassen sighed. It was a large whooshing sound that could have been the first bluster of a storm. But, in the cave, with such a somber atmosphere, it was little more than a whisper. "Your father was one of the greatest dragon riders. It was a pleasure to have flown with him."

Alex heard his voice ask, "Were you his dragon?" Yassen shook his head.

"No. I was a lancer. His dragon's name was Helen." Alex crushed a gasp. His mother was named Helen. It took only a second before another line of thought sunk in. His mother had been a dragon. He cheeks felt like a heated stove and his eyes were wetter than a whet stone. The great beast only lay beside the boy, for the dragon he was still a boy.

"You must understand, little Alex, the exchange that takes place. There are three defining laws of magic." Yassen waited for the boy to dry his eyes. Alex dug out a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. At least one was clean.

The dragon began again. "The first is the law of equality. What happens on one end must happen to another. For every give, there is a take. For every take, there is something made." Alex sniffed.

"I know, I wasn't that bad at Algerbra." The dragon delicately stroked his leg. His claws were the size of Alex's torso.

"I know. You did very well yesterday." Alex had measured the day before that Yassen was a little over fifty hands tall and a little less than a hundred hands long, including the tail. Alex had made use of a few choice hand holds about the cave to get high enough.

"The second law of magic is the power of addition. Upon compounding, magic is always equal or greater in than its parts. Curses will be more dangerous and gifts will become more powerful. A wizard's staff, or a witch's wand, is made that way." The dragon then gave him a soft grin. "You can also undo magic by using something greater."

Alex sighed. "My mother was born a dragon. It wasn't a curse." His few lessons in magic had consisted of how to snap a wizard's staff without getting turned into a pile of ash and how to avoid getting turned into a frog by an angry witch, which meant staying clear of all the angry ones. But, he wasn't slow. He knew what Yassen was implying.

"You switched places." Yassen nodded. Give and take. Yassen had given, his parents had taken. Alex placed a hand on the claw, stroking the smooth scales. "You gave so I could live." A thought occurred to him. "My mother died sixteen years ago. Why didn't you change back?"

The dragon shrugged. "That is a mystery." He breathed a small plume of hot air at Alex's face. "Your father saved my from a vicious spider beast. I owed him my life. On the dragon's knight's code, I had to repay it." He nuzzled Alex's hair. To the dragon, he had found an even greater treasure by giving up the sword for wings. "I am very glad I did." He clambered up on his perch.

"Now, boy, stand and let us duel." The dragon flapped his wings and gave a hearty roar.

Alex got to his feet and rolled his eyes. "I will win this round, you know." He waved Clarent in front of him expertly.

The dragon lashed his tail, smoke escaped his jaws. "And I'll make a man of you yet."

Later that night, it was Yassen's turn to roll his eyes as Alex went to bed sore but happy.

==

Alex tried to hack the scarecrow of sand. So far, his swings had gotten much tighter. They were not as tight as he like and Yassen was a dictator when it came to a good swing. His lessons in combat had proven he was not only a strong knight, gut a very good one. Alex had also learned about his father's short stint in the Knights of the Scorpion. Clearly, the man his uncle had told him his father was, a scholar of Greek and Roman histories, did not mention his undercover assaults on the teams of dark knights that terrorized the populace. Though, Yassen had assured him that after he became a dragon, he had taken very good care of the Scorpions, of which he was also a former member. Yassen was usually carving something with his claws, as the life size giraffe Alex had found proved, or cleaning his scales in the afternoons.

He seemed to be more and more reserved recently. Quietly thoughtful was the term Alex used. It was a little more unnerving because before you knew that he was still paying attention only not looking like he was paying attention. However, he really wasn't paying attention this time around which made one wonder if he was ever paying attention because getting doused by a bucket of ice water hadn't elicited a reaction and even the Popsicle penguins of Antarctica would have had a reaction.

Alex knew; he had tried. So of course he jumped to conclusions when things seemed to be going way off course.

"Stab me."

Yassen placed a hulking claw in front of Alex during practice. Alex didn't really feel like humoring a suicidal dragon.

"No." Yassen looked like he was about to send a flame at him. He didn't.

"Please?" Alex gaped.

Please? Please! The great dragon never said "please". For anything! Was he sick? It seemed very likely so.

His head titled to one side. "Little Alex?"

Alex stopped gaping. Instead, he took to examining the dragon for disease. What made a dragon suicidal? They were sentient. This was like his gold fish, the one that kept banging its head against the glass. He had told Tom that is was suicidal. Panic gripped him. Was being around Alex's so difficult?

Yes. But that wasn't it.

"I know that you bear Clarent." The dragon grinned for the first time. "After some debate and research, I realized that blade should be stronger than my spell. You have something that can destroy this." And so Alex Rider, the newest dragon rider, learned the third law of magic. It was things come in threes.

He had three riddles, he saved three people, and he received three gems and three rewards. Of course he would face a third challenge. That was the law of magic. The first two laws, as explained previously, were irrelevant. It was all a matter of trust because a magical sword did not mean it was more powerful. However, Yassen was a very intelligent dragon, at least Alex thought so, therefore he was very likely right and this would free him. There was the miniscule chance that the great dragon was wrong in which case he would be put out of commission until it healed. However, damage could be minimalized. And this was enough to give one a smashing headache.

Alex did as he was told and stabbed the dragon with Clarent.

The dragon removed his bleeding paw saying a few choice words. Nothing happened.

"That is the sword Clarent, the sword of fire. Yet, the spell is not broken." Alex wasn't quite sure what to say. Instead, he got out the bandages that he had no use for and wrapped the big beast's wound.

"Try not to put pressure on it." He kissed the smooth scales. The milky sheen was still lovely when blood splattered.

And he felt the claw shrink. Instead, he saw not a dragon, but a man.

"The last law of magic is often called the law of the lost." The voice was rich velvet. He had heard the description of "idiosyncratic purr" and he had always disagreed with the idea but it was fitting. The sound was so singular it was like nothing he had heard before. He rolled his eyes. He sounded like Sabina when she went on about the knights during training.

The man went on catching Alex's attention, "It is the law of love. With a proper loophole, love can dissolve any curse. It is what's left of the old ways. Love of the earth, love of your country, and love of one another can always snap a curse in two. The love must be true." Alex recalled how the prince and the princess had been such a saccharine pair. Obviously, true love's kiss had done something right.

He just hoped fate was right and they weren't going to hate each other in a few years.

Alex let his gaze travel up the muscular arm, to the neck that still bore a scar, to the face of a handsome man. Still Yassen, Alex thought.

"You released me," the man's mouth quirked at the ends, "with true love's first kiss."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Is that a problem?"

"No," the dragon, now man, said. "But we should do something about yours." Yassen leaned in and kissed the boy's lips.

Alex exhaled happily. He was free.

Yassen gave him a small smirk. "Your fairy godmother was vindictive. An eye-rolling curse?"

"Worse than a teenage girl," Alex noted. "And it was fairy godfather. His name was Ash."

==

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Wait… I'm supposed to tell you what happened to everyone else?

Oh…

Tom proposed to Sabina. Her father wanted to marry her off to Alex, but it seemed he was preoccupied with keeping up the dragon. Apparently, seventeen years of being a dragon did something to your libido. The knight's adopted brother was close enough. Queen Elizabeth didn't mind since she like Tom better anyway, the three rubies as wedding gifts helped too. Jack and her husband were very happy in their little fief, a gift from Alex. K-unit was still K-unit. Wolf did manage to save a young lady in a red riding hood and she fell madly in love with him. He still growled a lot, but mostly at her stalking tendencies.

The dwarves lived in their little cottage and enjoyed their now legally safe mine. Snow White and Prince Charming (seriously, who named their kids that?) were married. Alex and his plus one were invited.

Smithers finally got over his paranoia and started working for the secret army, which renamed itself MI6. Tulip took over as head since Crawley was just not the best for the job. Alex and Yassen didn't mind working with her. Julia decided to stay on as the court sorceress. She still scared the life out of Crawley, now a serving man, on a regular basis. Crawley did find happiness amongst the dishes and married a cook, poor woman.

Alex and Yassen lived in his sparkly cave, enjoying their days and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.

Merlin finally got Arthur to commit. Morgana got a therapist who was working wonders. Gwen and the thrice revived Lancelot were married.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Cue the ending music.

==

"Yassen, what the hell happened?" Alex woke somewhat delirious. He just had the strangest dream where he was a knight and Yassen was the dragon. There were princesses and knights and Ash was a fairy. He was tempted to go "and you were there, and you were there" like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz. Had he really met a big eared servant? There had to be a warning label on the BBC series. It would say, "May cause strange dreams that involve people you know in odd situations and an excess of Merlin references."

Yassen, a little heavier since retirement, looked up from his reading and patted Alex's head. They were in bed in Yassen's cabin in the wilderness. It was actually fairly close to the division's foreign base, though securely hidden. MI6 wouldn't dream to look here.

"It was just a dream," he purred into Alex's hair.

Alex, now in his twenties, nuzzled into the older man's soft but toned chest. "Mmnrph." He settled back to sleep.

Yassen slipped the CD of his version of the fairy tales into the nightstand's drawer.

Then, he turned out the lights.


End file.
